I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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