I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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