I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
