i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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