We're facebook friends in real life
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I understand Curling. That high.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
