'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
