shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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