I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
