Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize