weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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