In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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