weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Found your dick twin last night
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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