youre lurking in front of me
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
