just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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