I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
