Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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