So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
