my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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