i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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