I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
