id be glad to
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I party with great urgency now.
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