I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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