yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
