I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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