i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
