Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
