WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
