you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
birth control should be required to get into college
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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