the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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