all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
