I'm drive I can fine osifer
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
