She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
