i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
the liver wants what the liver wants
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
