The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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