3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
