Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
