He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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