Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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