what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
