thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
