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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
