I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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