white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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