Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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