I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
