why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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