Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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