I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
