Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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