That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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