Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
