Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
