yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
