guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
